She was young and kind, and beautiful
And strange, as strange as I
Laughing out like children in a waterfall
But freedom made me pass her by
But a man needs something to support
Not a hammer, nor a maid
And she was good for me and she looked up to me
I am no more afraid
I want her
She sits there in her black dress
Dark curls are everywhere
She laughs with them at a far off table
But looks to me and sends me a smile
She is mine and I am hers
The passing years made her smiles more rare
Her bursting curls became collected
She still laughs with them at a far off table
And I am hers
(Kill your ego)
I could have listened more
I could have been more what she wanted
I could have taken more
I could have been more jealous
(Your ego’s dead)
I should have been more jealous
And now my ego’s dead
Numbness turns to denial
Denial turns to anguish
Anguish turns self pity
Turns self blame, self flagellation
the solution to the numbness
And I’m a master
Years of measuring my worth to her standard
But no one wants a nameless prince as a partner
And the therapy helps but just for a while
And the first pills help but only just a little
My branches of self grew all around her
And though she’s gone my world still surrounds her
I carry on orbiting her post partem
Understanding this sends me deeper in the bottom
Pathetic lapdog!
No one wants a nameless prince as a partner
And the therapy helps but just for a while
And the first pills help but only just a little
And the second pills make it possible to get off the couch
