F64

Yo Jam, this is a letter to you
It’s been a while but it’s been hard for me to get in the booth
Since we last spoke I’ve become a father of two
Trying to live life with a smile but that’s been harder to do
Coz all I wanna do is talk about you
But these tears won’t let me talk about you
We should’ve known that we’d be lost without you
Therapy sessions digging deep in depression
I got a life full of blessings but this just breaks my fucking heart
At your birthday couldn’t even crack a smile
I just cried and left the party, Neesh I’ll see you in a while
Headed to the mural, got some jerk wings and plantain
Coz that is the way that me and you would celebrate it
I never knew you touched the stuff, coz you’d always bad me up
If you saw me more than drunk, you always hated what it does
Before Lyra I just stopped, I haven’t even wanted one
I can’t get over this is fucked, man I wished I’d known
Yeah we cried for nine nights at your family home
Laid you to rest in the ground but without a stone
You know it hits me most at moments now when I’m alone
Every morning I remember that you’re really gone
Coz it’s been a long night and I cry coz I miss my brother
You know for life, got your sis and mother
Day and night it still hits that you’re gone
And right now I’m spilling tears in my cup
You left the world before you met Jupiter
Wish you’dve known you would be godfather
You would’ve loved loving my little girls
If not for them I’d be done with the world
Was there two hours after you passed
Speeding east to west silent in the back of the car
Was at your mum’s there all week trying make sense but I can’t
And although it’s been a year still feel the pain in my heart
Coz you were there from the start
The day we met yeah I moved in and we were never apart
People assumed that we were lovers but were brothers in arms
Symbiotic bond of love and gave each other a chance, my god
Ah
Fuck sake, lately I’ve been crying so much my lungs ache
Teardrops all over my shirt like blood stains
And I know to heal a heart it must break
But I’m done praying
They gave me a shovel at your burial and
Watching you get lowered is something I can’t forget at all
People find and stop me in the street and say it’s terrible
But they don’t know you like I knew you and they never will
No one saw the nights turn into day when we were battle rapping
No one saw the belly laugh, and every train to somewhere random
No one saw the holidays, and then our first experience clubbing
No one saw the things you did for me and never asked for nothing
No one read the conversations of the moves that we were planning
No one knew about the way you felt the scene left you abandoned
No one knew about your fears coz you would hide them with a smile
No one knew when people took an inch you would give them a mile
Coz that was always Jamal, sb to the crowd
They used to shout your net worth but they don’t mention it now
They talk about your good deeds and infectious smile
A golden heart that’s still remembered is worth more than a crown
I promised 64 bars and now I keep it to Tanisha, mummy, Isaac, the gang but I just wish that you’d seen it
I can’t accept that you’re gone or the grief I’m feeling
I prayed to God for answers but he still won’t give me a reason
I think about you every day, nothing will take this pain away
I’ll keep your legacy amazing mate
The conversations at your grave’s the only way to be close
I know you’ll greet me with a smile on the day I go
Coz it’s been a long night and I cry coz I miss my brother
You know for life, got your sis and mother
You know I cry coz I miss my brother, my brother
Was SBTV